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March 3rd, 2010
How many calories are in your business card or resume?
Posted by Darren Garnick at 9:14 am

Packaging cookies with business cards was a hit for Boston’s Reuning Violin shop

The business card creativity stream keeps on flowing…. On the heels of the business card catapult and business card penny cannon — and not to mention the resignation letter cake — there’s now the locally baked business card cookie!

Danvers pastry chef Kelly Delaney, owner of the Cakes for Occasions bakery, prints business cards with food coloring ink and packages them with your traditional inedible calling cards.

The clever violin-munching cartoon cookies above were commissioned by Boston’s Reuning & Son Violins — a retail and repair shop for new and antique instruments — for last week’s American String Teachers Association trade show in California.

Business manager Maureen Wall says her 400 cookie cards were gobbled up in the first four hours of the three-day show. “Every company has some item to give away to bring potential clients to their booth and there are only so many tote bags and pens one can really take,” she says. “It was quite a conversation starter.”

Delaney, perhaps best known on the North Shore for her bakery’s wedding cakes, also just dove into unchartered territory with 8.5″ x 11″ sugar cookie resumes.

In today’s crazy job market, can you really influence potential employers by appealing to their sweet tooth?  In this week’s Working Stiff column, find out what one top resume expert says about the wisdom of frosting your career credentials.   


February 23rd, 2010
Firing Line: Business cards that turn into catapults and penny launchers
Posted by Darren Garnick at 10:00 pm

Most business cards I accumulate wind up in the trash after I enter a contact’s information into my computer. Some of them wind up as pocket lint after an unfortunate wash and dry.

But here are two business cards I would never throw away:


Intrigued?  Read the full backstory in this week’s “Working Stiff” column.


February 17th, 2010
Never judge a business on the size of its trophy case
Posted by Darren Garnick at 9:44 am

bobby-brady.jpg

Do you remember The Brady Bunch episode when Bobby was jealous of all his siblings’ trophies? And his self-esteem plummeted to an all-time low when he couldn’t even win an ice cream eating contest?

At the end of that show, the Brady boys and girls gave Bobby a store-bought trophy out of sympathy and Bobby (the way I recall the show) realized that maybe winning trophies wasn’t the most important thing of all.

In this week’s “Working Stiff” column, I dive into the world of industry awards and the reality that many of them are shams for selling certificates and trophies. Take a look at this graphic design/video editing award called the “Fexy.”

The Fexies, which are named after the FX shorthand for special effects, charge big bucks for certificates and statuettes. And get this, you can win in 56 different categories AND are not competing against other entries. As long as the judges give you at least a 7 out of 10 — wasn’t a “C” grade considered mediocre in grade school? — you can “win” a gold Fexy.

fexy-award.jpeg

Can you imagine bragging about your Fexy with a straight face?

I’m much prouder of my Ronald Reagan Presidential Academic Fitness Award.


February 10th, 2010
Is making up fake jobs on LinkedIn a smart career move?
Posted by Darren Garnick at 12:28 pm

devils-advocate-logo-x.jpg

In this week’s Working Stiff column, meet iconoclast Becky Ebenkamp, a frustrated job seeker who’s decided to make her own rules.  Instead of moping around about the real companies that don’t have job openings, she’s making up her own fictitious companies for her resume and creating make-believe job titles.

Sure, these pretend jobs come with pretend salaries, but Becky is banking on the fact that her irreverent creative style will appeal to the right employers.  And for those who are turned off?  Well, she says, they’re not a good match anyhow.

Perhaps most compelling is her confidence to mock the advertising and PR industries in her LinkedIn profile.  Is it a savvy move to ridicule the corporate culture of your prospective employers — or is it career suicide.

I guess the Becky Ebenkamp Experiment will answer that question.

(Full Disclosure: I am a LinkedIn “friend” of Becky’s, was a fan of her Brandweek blog posts, and admire her Partridge Family sense of fashion.  But we have never met.  My column is not some hare-brained scheme to help a college buddy get a job.)

becky-ebenkamp-ronaldmcdonald.jpg

I do think it takes guts to try to find a job that suits your personality — instead of caving into taking just anything in this horrific economic climate.  I also think any advertising or PR firm would be lucky to house Becky’s Advertising Icon Museum that she used to house in her Brandweek office.  The Velvet Ronald McDonald above was a thrift shop discovery in California — predating decades before the “SuperSize Me” villification.

And lastly, a prediction.  Satirical Resumes could just become the Job Resignation Cakes of 2010!

cake-resignation-letter.jpg


February 3rd, 2010
Million Calorie Marcher shrugs off the soda-candy tax
Posted by Darren Garnick at 2:48 pm

Gary Marino did his Million Calorie March from Jacksonville, Florida to Boston to raise money for obesity prevention and treatment programs.

Gov. Deval Patrick’s miracle obesity tax, which gives the Commonwealth a slice of the lucrative soda and candy market, does not thrill one of Boston’s most effective weight loss activists.

What impact does Burlington’s Gary Marino, the founder of Generation Excel and the Million Calorie March, think the junk food tax will have on consumer behavior?

Zero impact.

“Would taxing candy have deterred me from buying it when I was 397 pounds?” asks Marino, who shed 150 pounds through sensible eating and exercise. “People will pay an unlimited amount of money for substances that they love.”

So true. Maybe that’s why I fork over eight bucks for a handful of Junior Mints and Whoppers (the malted milk balls, not the burgers) when I go the movies.

You can bet that the state treasury will be much richer by robbing us at the convenience store, but Do-Gooder Deval won’t make us any less fat.

Come to think of it, will my movie candy now cost 10 bucks?

Marino and Generation Excel are featured in this week’s “Working Stiff” column. He is a hilarious motivational speaker who riffs on his McDonalds-sponsored Little League team and his old official “fat guy uniforms,” which were loose-fitting Hawaiian shirts.

In the Local-Boy-Makes-Good department, he is also currently in the final stages of negotiations with two major cable networks for a national broadcast of his “Million Calorie March” documentary.

Congratulations, Gary! Stay tuned to this space for more details when air dates and networks are announced…


Next Page »


BLOGGER

image courtesy of International Playthings, Inc.

Darren Garnick's "Working Stiff" column is dedicated to the millions of office soulmates who roll their eyes every time they walk past an "inspirational poster."

Although he has made a living sitting on his rear end for almost two decades, the columnist vividly remembers endless nights scrubbing pizza pans at Papa Gino's and still has his nametag to prove it.

"The Working Stiff" runs every Wednesday in the Boston Herald's "Business Today" section. Fellow subversives are encouraged to send Darren insane workplace memos, office gossip and white-blue-or-pink-collar rants to heraldstiff@gmail.com

Darren is also an independent filmmaker who writes the New England Film Junkie blog

A sampling of his offbeat films and favorite columns is available at his Media Lab.


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